God is in Control

Psalm 91

¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

    he is my God, and I trust him.

³ For he will rescue you from every trap

    and protect you from deadly disease.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.

    He will shelter you with his wings.

    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

    nor the arrow that flies in the day.

⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,

    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,

    though ten thousand are dying around you,

    these evils will not touch you.

⁸ Just open your eyes,

    and see how the wicked are punished.

⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,

    if you make the Most High your shelter,

¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;

    no plague will come near your home.

¹¹ For he will order his angels

    to protect you wherever you go.

¹² They will hold you up with their hands

    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;

    you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.

    I will protect those who trust in my name.

¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;

    I will be with them in trouble.

    I will rescue and honor them.

¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life

    and give them my salvation.”

Mark 16:17-18

¹⁷ These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages.¹⁸ They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won’t hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed.”

(Courtesy of the Living Bible)

I've been calling myself an agnostic Christian for awhile. What I mean by that is that I love Jesus, God the Holy Spirit, but I don't like Christianity. Unfairly or not, the fact that when people see Christians they often see people who hate homosexuals, who voted for George Bush, who want to sell the Truth of God for a quick buck. I don't want that. I want to Truth of Jesus. I want His words to permeate my life. His words to love one another and to love God. To feed the hungry. Help the sick. To resist religious hypocrisy.

Those two passages hit me today. I'm a man who's faith wavered but is now returning. My wife and I are going through some trying times (not with each other.) and we need to completely rely on the LORD in this situation. This is not natural for me. I'm a prideful, self sufficient man. To get on my knees and completly surrender and admit to God that I have no control over the situation and am completely reliant on Him and His grace. God is my crutch. People can mock that if they want, but I know I need God and it gives me comfort to know that someone is looking out for me.

I understand not everyone believes in God. I can see their arguments and I respect their beliefs. I need to believe in God and I hope that that need is respected by those that don't share my belief. In the shower, as the water cascaded down my body, I felt and heard God. I felt His peace and comfort come over me. 

These passages promise God's protection on those who believe. Whatever that means in this situation, I don't know. But God does. He knows what's best. He'll take care of me. It's in my nature to worry. Maybe it's because I'm the oldest child and I'm protective by nature. but I don't need to worry. God is in control.

This situation didn't work out in the way I'd hoped... but that doesn't mean it didn't work out. God sees the big picture. He sees the future and the past, along with the present. He's in control. I don't have to be.